Hilarious! Nigerian Superstars as Diseases…byChris Ogunlowo.

<center><img border="0" height="300" src=" https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ3S6R_xdrBmEyvwZoM2qAGPH0vALSqTgDyUKPqd_lziZYBA6FPG3T0d47OHPwjLL0CRmC1PWOI8JtcJcNhkkrBviUjxA8x6qfG4LjGsH4IN7ACIzyBchRSFZPGMmLhzQPpYpjgA7XBuOy/s280/Iyanya-Wizkid-and-Davido.jpg " width="250"> </a></center><br/>I found this article on thenet.ng written by<br/>Chris Ogunlowo and I found it so hilarious<br/>that I had to share it here. It's famous<br/>Nigerians as diseases. Too funny! Enjoy<br/>below...<br/>1. Wizkid Syndrome: A chronic tendency to<br/>create catchy and repetitive hits to a loyal<br/>fan base with a boyish charm that induces<br/>envy from peers and late-bloomers, which<br/>also hides the fact, that one is approaching<br/>quarter-life.<br/>2. Davidotis: A psychiatric condition whereby<br/>a sufferer survives speculations of whether<br/>genuine talent or one’s father’s wealth is the<br/>source of one’s success, alongside a<br/>pervading comparison with an equally<br/>talented whiz-kid.<br/>3. Tuface Syndrome: A rare syndrome that<br/>occurs when prodigious talent meets<br/>prodigious baby-making ability but with a<br/>legendary status, strong social equity and a<br/>staying power that keep a whole industry in<br/>awe.<br/>4. D’banj Obsessive Disorder: A disease<br/>characterized by the feeling that one’s best<br/>days are firmly behind and, as a result, one<br/>looks for outlets to compensate for fading<br/>stardom and income, including taking relief in<br/>farming-<br/>5. Dangotiosis: A condition marked by an<br/>obsession with Dangote‘s wealth, only curable<br/>by a decision to mind one’s own business.<br/>6. Lindapilepsy: A strong and strange<br/>resentment that occurs when news of Linda<br/>Ikeji’s wealth arises, which is commonly<br/>observed among struggling publicists, jealous<br/>digital marketers, hungry journalists, and<br/>retired or rival bloggers.<br/>7. Iyanyamariasis: The abnormal ability of a<br/>cell to spot errors in its former ways before<br/>proceeding to create a trademark style that<br/>takes waist gyrations to nerve-racking heights<br/>with performances worthy of Mr. Universe<br/>Pageantry.<br/>8. Tontolitis : The debilitating ability to sustain<br/>fame in an erratic way as it was acquired<br/>while still smiling to the bank.<br/>9. PSquarisasis: When two malignant cells<br/>take the understanding of a market to<br/>unprecedented heights resulting in a<br/>dominance previously thought impossible and<br/>doing it with a discernible Igbo accent.<br/>10. Don Jazzy Disorder: A disorder that makes<br/>an organ produce back-to-back hits and<br/>maintain a social equity that can embarrass<br/>pastors and politicians, including a social<br/>media addiction and an idiosyncratic singing<br/>style that impresses.<br/>11. Kceeosis: A cell’s ability to confuse<br/>celebrity with a right to make embarrassing<br/>wardrobe choices and a knack for coming out<br/>even more horrendous than a previous time<br/>despite public outcry and bile from popular<br/>bloggers.<br/>12. Jenniferiasis: The ability of an organ to<br/>exhibit behavior that would ordinarily be<br/>considered razz to a point where the lines<br/>between acting and reality are blurred but<br/>compensated with popular adulation and<br/>brand endorsements.<br/>13. MIplasia : A type of dwarfism that<br/>compensates the lack of bone growth with<br/>incredible rhyming prowess and a persona<br/>capable of inducing endless admiration and<br/>beef from hustling rappers.<br/>14. Ice Prince Cerebral Cramps: A disorder<br/>that causes exaggerated hip-hop postures, a<br/>rigid conformity to infantile end-rhymes that<br/>turn rap songs into mainstream classics and<br/>also results in multiple awards than most<br/>“serious” rappers.<br/>15. Mode Complex: An affliction that causes<br/>an artist to be the default reference for<br/>prodigious & clever wordplay that, sadly, does<br/>not correlate with the amount of albums sold<br/>or account balance, a living proof of the<br/>saying: ‘grammar no be money’.<br/>16. Dakolomentality: A rare psychotic disorder<br/>that inflicts a sufferer with unlimited guttural<br/>talent but indistinctive brand positioning &<br/>packaging.<br/>17. Olamide Palsy: A malignant tumor that<br/>involves a blatant display of one’s ethnicity<br/>and background combined with traits mostly<br/>reserved for touts but interestingly made into<br/>a premium musical package that surprises<br/>earlier sufferers of the same tumor who faded<br/>into obscurity.<br/>18. Phynognomy: A severe condition similar to<br/>Olamide Palsy but with an Igbo flair and an<br/>ability to turn what would have been a bad<br/>hair day for most into a phenomenal signature<br/>look.<br/>19. Bella Naija Syndrome: An affliction<br/>whereby the Nigerian national man-hour is<br/>spent keeping track of who wore what to<br/>where until one wakes up to the reality of a<br/>wasted lifetime.<br/>20. Kedike Syndrome: A syndrome that causes<br/>a sufferer to endure a clean image despite the<br/>presence of a latent sexuality which experts<br/>guess might lead to a Rihanna Crisis or, in the<br/>extreme, a psychiatric condition of Miley Cyrus<br/>proportions....

Hilarious! Nigerian Superstars as Diseases…byChris Ogunlowo.

I found this article on thenet.ng written by Chris Ogunlowo and I found it so hilarious that I had to share it here. It's famous Nigeri...

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